Judgement is pronounced upon me by these walls,
For the folly of my sins,
For loving a fool.
This cell holds the secrets of our nights
And the echoes of my ululations,
Fragments of my broken wings
And shards of my broken dreams.
I place my hand between these bars,
in spaces that resemble the yawning gaps in my heart,
Itching to be filled with the love of my jailer.
And then I finger the flowers he places in my hair every night,
He loves me.
He loves me not.
His love is twisted,
And for this reason, I rush back here,
Hoping to make it straight,
Though he tramples upon my hope over and over again,
My feet will always return
Rays of sunlight creep in through the cracks in the wall,
Beckoning on me to escape from this darkness.
I part my lips to plead with my jailer
That he break the lock,
But his kiss clamps them shut,
And inundates my mind with memories
Of the music of his snores,
the rhythm of whips across my back,
The art of the scars on my body,
The perfumed smell of his sweaty shirts; Memories that draw me back to my vomit.
I am a slave with undying love for her master,
who beams at him in foolish gratitude,
As she eats the scraps laid at her feet,
Because it is better than nothing.
Outside these walls is a world of uncertainty,
Fear and new beginnings;
I desire no other fate
Except what has always been
And that of which I am sure.
So I choose life imprisonment,
Unafraid to breathe my last, nestled in his arms.
When I was writing this poem, I thought I had an idea of how builders feel when they’re called upon to resume a building project that was abandoned for a long time. It’s a medley of hope, joy, fear and anxiety. (I left this poem uncompleted for few months, for some reason x_x)
Anyway, thanks for reading! :). Ahem, it’s not cheerful but I hope you enjoyed it. Kindly share and drop your comments!